Friday the 13th

If you’re a squeamish man, this post isn’t for you.I am not normally ┬ásuperstitious, but I have come face to face with Friday the 13th and I know it’s power.

I had just had Power. Those of you that have had a baby know that in order to get pregnant, you make a deal with the devil. You have no period for 9 months and then your soul is turned over to Satan and you have the period from hell for about 6 weeks.

Upon leaving the hospital, air traffic controllers bring in pads that planes can land on. They literally strap them to your body and they stretch from your guts to your butt.

I was at home prancing around in my moo moo because I was the size of a water buffalo and cared not for clothes to touch my body. It was time to change the landing pad so I had called for the crane. In changing out my personal items, Power started crying. When Power cried it was like the spawn of Satan was present and angry. So of course, I dropped everything I was doing and flew to his rescue.

The drama ceased and the devil’s child was sleeping. I decided to take the few minutes of quiet and head to the mailbox. The neighbors were having a social gathering where some of Winder’s elite were in attendance. My neighbor happened to be in the front yard helping park cars. She started yelling at me and pointing to her leg. I hated it because I knew how horrible it was to catch a cramp. How embarrassing in front of all of her friends too. Anyway…I smiled and waved and she continued to jump up and down like a crazy person pointing at her leg. Then….she pointed at my leg. One of my used landing pads had stuck to my moo moo on the back of my leg. It looked like an octopus hanging there.

That is why there was only one child born. Be very aware of the power of the 13th.  Very aware.

5 thoughts on “Friday the 13th

  1. LMAO. I never had children of my own, but this post made me think maybe that wasn’t so bad!! No, I’m sure kids are worth it, but lady, you are the new Erma Bombeck. You need to publish your writings!

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